And maybe that’s true. Maybe I crave what I can’t have. What I feel is out of our reach. Maybe I am more scared of being alone than I ever have been of staying with the wrong person. But perhaps the fear is simply losing control to something that IS real. Giving myself to someone who won’t hurt me. Not intentionally. Who won’t leave to find better in someone else’s arms. Maybe the fear is that I will have to be the “better.” I will have to stay and not run. Maybe the fear is that I can’t be the happily ever after i’ve demanded of all the others. And then what? Then where will i hide for reassurance that it’s not me, it’s them. When the blaring truth is, it’s always been me. Maybe that’s where the true fear lies.